She stared at him in a weird way, as if never having seen him in such light before. Her eyes went wide, like a shaft of light that illuminated an eye, with the intent to shock, scream even. He stared back at her, his eyes as glazed as they had been in days, oozing its lack of awareness of the throes of humanity around him, like a beacon of stars, pervading through all solid matter.
He had proposed to her three weeks back. Both of them were drunk and had fucked like rabbits on a mission to save their species from the dangerous actions of humanity. Another two specimens had joined them late into the night, their breaths reeking of alcohol and eyes glazed with the effects of substances, Sins himself hadn’t dared to touch before. But now, he thought, what the heck?
He didn’t sleep the whole night, and fucked the senses out of them six times, dividing his time and effort among all three. He was a fair man. Their animal like lusty eyes had never left him, so much that, the moment he had trudged into his workplace, his messenger chimed with the raunchy pictures of the previous night, his head busy occupied around every orifice possible. He had deleted all the images and chided himself for his stupidity. God forbid, if those images came around after ten years or so, he could be fucking blackmailed for all he cared. Mentally, he reminded himself to meet them again and erase the images from their phones when they were asleep, in case persuasion didn’t work.
She kept looking at him, till Sins wondered if he should just leave. He had always had a nagging feeling that, emotionally he wasn’t able to connect with a host of people, especially when the interactions were only a month old or so. He had always needed time, except a few instances, when destiny conspired to mingle him with someone with whom he just ramped straight home, no questions asked, evolving into a lifelong friendship. Such instances, as of now, numbered only eight from the opposite sex, and four from the same sex. He was pretty happy with this, although on a few days, especially late into the nights, his thoughts automatically diverted back to when he was twelve, witnessing an incident that he would take with him to his grave, and wondered if he would ever manage to come to terms with it, excluding the circumstances that had befallen him over the next three days. The sobs would begin slowly, then culminate in a bound of rage and anger, till he shook, seeking solace in the substance, the blessed substance, the savior, the holy herb…no, he was still in control.
“You don’t feel anything, do you?”
“You destroy people mentally, Sins. Don’t you understand? You reject feelings and emotions, for some reason. You’re the worst. You need a psychiatrist, lest you turn into a psycho a few years down the line. You’ve a disease, get treated, for your sake. And those substances that you use to numb yourself, its just fun for me, for you, its a cycle, I hope you realize that. Get lost, I don’t want to see you again”
She turned her back towards him and walked away slowly, no hug, nothing, as if he was a distant memory, that ought to be rejected, a cold ode of vapour on an equally colder night. He kept looking at her, those familiar tiny stabs that crept at his chest every night, emerging with renewed vigour, greeting him like a long lost friend.
Surprisingly, after a few minutes, he couldn’t feel anything. He turned away and headed to the gym.