He took the longest drag he had ever taken in his life, held it inside his lungs for a full fifteen seconds and exhaled. Around ten percent of the original smoke appeared, the rest had been absorbed, by now assimilated in his bloodstream, beginning the familiar slow yet gradual movement of chemicals in his brain.
It was sixteen minutes past three in the morning.
It was the fourth joint of his day. It was the most happening day of his life, and it was also the most serene. The way he saw it, apart from the seemingly small matter of long term companionship which he was constantly trying to work on everyday, and was one of the things that gave an impetus and meaning to existence, he also had the small matter of trying to create a change in the way things were looked at in society.
He glanced at the small statue of Buddha on his table, lost in meditation, in the process of overcoming all desires by silencing the mind completely and truly. Taking another few drags and sniggering while still staring at Buddha’s image, he wondered what he stood for really, were there any values or principles he believed in, or was he just a wanderer searching for mates to have sex with, while filling his belly with food, day in, day out like his ancestral hunter-gatherers?
The pings on his smartphone annoyed him. It distracted him several times of the day, and in this case, it had distracted him from deep thinking, which in retrospect he did all the time, even while pouring himself a cup of coffee or taking a shit or even while working on choice topics like evolution and human progress. Wan’t it all about change and progress, finally? It wasn’t as if the hordes of humanity who yearned to go back to the times when life was slow and supposedly more happier than the present, were right.
Problem never ended. They became better. Progress was unstoppable.
Constantly learning new things was the only solution to keep his mind from sabotaging itself. Some days, it would remind him that everything was pointless and devoid of meaning, when the timely reminder of the small yet important matter of creating some value in order to earn a livelihood wold spur him on to be more reactive, when the fact was that he wanted to be pro-active and lead things not wait for things to happen and be oblivious to developments.
He thought about how he would give meaning to the world.
Usually it was always about five things, which was the same for everybody in the world. Social status, popularity, physique and the financial means to engage in anything one would like to. Including sex, these five elements would inevitably contribute to happiness. Only the means of attaining the five, would differ from person to person. Some would wait for them to happen, while others would earnestly seek them out everyday. He knew which one he was.
It was twenty one minutes past three in the morning.
He decided to have coffee. The thought was borne out so instantaneously, unconsciously, that it registered in his sense only when he was halfway towards the coffee machine. He changed his mind. He couldn’t let his sub-conscious self override his conscious self, especially when pertaining to matters like long-term health and wellness. It would be better if he had coffee at ten in the morning, when he would need to begin thinking about a new project that had been clamouring for his attention inside his mind for a few days, which he had been procrastinating, so much so that, ignoring its bidding had become a habit.
From now on, he would change the way he thought. And change his life.