He loved talking to her. Given a choice, he would do so for hours on end.
Representing the above sentence inside his head, created a mellow, yet a cornucopia of sorts, wherein a lot of thoughts bundled with their respective emotions would seek to clamour for his attention at once, producing a fleeting sense of time, which would pass by in pure joyous smiles, intertwined with harmonies that brought to mind a bright sun amongst crystal blue skies. And all this during a few moments before they began talking and the three to four hours that passed by after they had parted.
The conversations meant so much. To him. That it felt as if it were one of the bright spots that continued being a bright spot without loosing its brightness for hours on end, vigourously kept alive, its flames being fanned continuously by a raging heart, intent to spur him on to do more, accomplish more, and build up his case to become even more stronger, day after day after day. Sometimes, try as he might, he couldn’t understand himself. But. come to think of it, what exactly was ‘himself’ or ‘herself’? What was one’s self? A set of attributes? Like being driven, confident, shy? Or was one’s self linked to his or her beliefs, values or principles? Or a sum of both? What if these attributes or beliefs or values were not permanent? What if they could be moulded as per one’s wish? For the better.
Other than the moments spent talking to her, the next bright spot that would last for a few minutes, would be with a prospective stranger over the phone, each trying to come to terms with what the other was offering and then bonding over how the marketplace and humans themselves were evolving, a point not very interesting enough for a lot of people, but nevertheless something he always used over the phone and in person to dispel the notion that all of them had the power to look at the greater picture rather than haggling or gossiping over the actions of a few.
Food and drink would always be a bright spot for all of humanity, and so it did for him too. Today’s English breakfast had been every bit as delicious as he had been expecting, its assortment of sausages, mashed potatoes, bread, a generous dollop of butter, mushrooms, baked beans and salad, serving him well over the course of the next few hours. Even now as he thought about it, he began salivating over the prospect of his next meal. He didn’t know what he would be having, his choices depending on whatever the impulse was at that particular moment, when the fact was, he ought to know what was best for him to eat during a particular day at a particular time depending on his goal, which would in turn depend on the internal dynamics of his body, seeing as each one had a unique strand of DNA,
As if on auto-pilot, he whipped out his smartphone. She was online on WhatsApp. He locked his phone and placed it back inside his pocket, content to wait it out and behold how their next conversation would unfold, probably a couple of days later. Till then, he would only comment on things like the deeper meanings of her WhatsApp statuses or throw around a few random facts about broadening one’s horizons through books or ask her what she was up to if it was the weekend. That was all, that was enough, that was great. The quality of the conversation mattered more than the quantity. Real conversations led to a definite take-away or a call-to-action, like exchanging useful information for one’s personal or professional life or mutually arriving at a funny consensus or suggesting a healthy product or formulating an idea.
A useless conversation was rooted in spreading rumours, objectification, gossiping about other people, hate-mongering, crocodile tears and not revealing one’s true self, to name a few. He didn’t like being a part of such conversations, and it was all the more difficult owing to the fact that he hadn’t had much social interaction while growing up for various reasons that were known only to himself and no one else, and so it would remain so until a person fostered a deep connection with him.
He knew his best was coming. It was just around the corner and he felt it.