He saw her.
She didn’t. Or she had before him, he wasn’t sure. A moroseness had enveloped him for the last few hours, his insides feeling wrinkled, like a piece of stale cloth. He was not going to blame it on anything or anyone. Whatever happened to him was entirely his responsibility and no one else’s business. He was going to accept his fate for what it was, and have faith that all his desires would come true.
On the contrary, he felt grateful.
Not because he was in a much better state than most of his country’s subjects, but because gratitude was the single most important reason to have in order to make the mind feel fulfilled. Inside, he burned with desires and sought to turn them into reality as soon as possible. There were nights when he wouldn’t be able to sleep because he kept having the urge that he wanted to make something happen without knowing what he could do so.
He wasn’t perplexed. Just thoughtful.
So much needed to be done and most of the times, his mind would make sure that he went about taking everything casually, content to sit back and consume frivolous content which had no meaning to him, rather than create something of value for those who needed it. Then, there was her, an enigma as himself. Sometimes, she made him day dream, as if she were the answer to all his choicest desires, when clearly she was not. Problems were constant. The solution to one problem is merely another problem to be solved. Evolution. Adapt and evolve. Change is the only constant.
As he thought about her, he realized that she represented someone who could complement his personality. He hadn’t met her in the whole of last week, and wasn’t liking it. But he had accepted it gracefully. After all, if he became reactive to every emotion that he felt, positive or negative, wouldn’t it have to work both ways? Maybe she had other things to do, and he didn’t figure in her priorities, yet. Great. He was looking forward to the next week.
He felt his breath, its slow movements sucking in and exhaling air, and imagined her breath on his own, their eyes closed, rolled upward in deep ecstasy, their brains completely in sync with each other’s pleasure, whilst swaying gently underneath a large oak tree, amidst a pack of lions who stood guard over them. He would make this scene happen in reality. He knew he would.
He wanted some excitement in his life. He wanted to do something crazy. A kind of change, a new way of doing things. There were many things, many services on offer in the real world, from massages, spa sessions, speech training, writing boot camps to personal or professional networking events, conferences, parties and all sorts of events, apps and brands clamouring for everyone’s attention. The clutter was just too much. It was a paradox of the twenty-first century.
There were so many things to do that the variety confused people. Because no one was personalizing each and every service or product tailored according to someone’s need. No one knew what was the best way to live. In theory, everyone did, but in reality, it required planning, dedication and perseverance, a purview of a very small minority around the world, who genuinely knew how best to take care of themselves and do the right things on every level, from fitness and nutrition to productivity hacks.
He kept thinking about what he could do.