He would often realize the error of his ways whenever he closed his eyes to account his monetary transactions into his Evernote.
Emerging from the haze of incidents that had swept past him in the past couple of days after a few minutes of replaying his life in front of his mind’s eye, he decided that he was going to double down his focus towards Poker, peanut butter instead of cheese, investing in a bicycle, second hand book editions and staying in rather than heading out to read, eat and drink, for the next three months. All the other aspects would remain the same, be meticulously tracked, analyzed and the call to actions delivered every two weeks.
Satisfied, now yawning a little, he goaded himself to figure out if he could muster the willpower to get up off the couch and make his way out towards the place where he belonged to on Fridays and Sundays. The purpose-built custodian and guardian of knowledge, the City Central Library. He could nap, read and write for as long as he wanted to for free of charge, the only caveat being that there were separate sitting sections for boys and girls, to which he hadn’t dwelt upon much because as far as he was concerned, mere writings on the wall weren’t going to act as a deterrent for boys and girls determined to ward off risk for the sake of thrill.
He stared at his watch, its exterior, scratched ever so slightly, its leather strap, beaten down by the environment consistently for the past two years, when it was procured by him as a memento from an event attended by key personnel hailing from the global media and entertainment business. In retrospect, he hadn’t learnt much from it, because he had practically been like a fish out of water, a fact he owed to his lack of awareness with respect to the winds blowing across the wider business ecosystem of the world. Now, he understood better. But it wasn’t enough. He wanted to be more.
As far as he was concerned it was about time, that he made a move quickly.
If he didn’t make the move today, there was a possibility that either he would never make it or significantly delay what he was after. Significant enough to ensure that his efforts and time would be wasted, leaving him high and dry as akin to never making a move in the first place. He kept thinking about his thought patterns, which he had gleaned over a period of silence that had lasted ten days, away from the city amidst the fresh atmosphere of the country side steeped in the halo of imminent rainfall whose frequent spells only seemed to reinforce his brain’s communal like response towards nature. It was exactly one month since then.
In two months the third decade of the second millennium would begin. He was twenty-five years old and wanted to remain so, in terms of health and mindfulness. He tried to remember the last time when he had felt so light-headed and reminisced that it had been the final year of college. But it was better now because existence itself made so much more sense not because it didn’t mean much back in those days but because the neurons inside his brain seemed to have become more intertwined, more connected and more supple owing to the time spent in understanding the maneuvers of individuals, corporations and governments as they sought to impart a perception among the minds of the general public that everything would be great as long as they did what was told of them, blindingly and unquestioningly.
Of course, not everyone was going to be blind or unquestioning or any other adjective that resonated with being meek, submissive or unfailingly obedient. Conflicts were necessary and inevitable, a part of the universe since the dawn of energy itself. He counted himself lucky, among the few millions if not billions across the world, fortunate to have been raised on an economic pedestal that valued open-mindedness, tolerance, thoughtfulness and liberty, with the freedom and space to do what he wished to. He whispered a thanks to all the people he had come across in his life.
He glanced at his wrist. It was time.